Book Review: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts®

by Charmain Hibberd

Marketing Assistant, CBN UK

Love is a basic need that we all have. To love and be loved is one of life’s greatest privileges. But what if the way you receive or express love does not resonate with the people in your life? Today we look at Gary Chapman’s book –  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts® – and discover how a simple mindset shift can help us to love those in our lives better.

Do You Know Your Love Language?

Published in 1992, The 5 Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman that has revolutionised how some express and receive love.  

The premise is that there are 5 key ways that we express and receive love: 

• Words of affirmation 

• Acts of service 
• Receiving gifts 
• Quality time 
• Physical touch. 

Let’s take a look at each of them individually. 

• Words of Affirmation 

This love language describes how we can give and receive love by sharing kind and encouraging words with one another. Positive communication, specifically sincere compliments and terms of endearment, foster security and a sense that we are esteemed in the relationship. This does not have to be verbal; the written word can communicate affection just as effectively as telling someone directly how we feel about them. 

• Acts of Service 

Acts of service (as touched on in our other featured article in this issue) is where we put the needs of another before our own in a very practical way by serving them. This can be as simple as making someone a cup of tea or taking the bins out! It all communicates that we love them and esteem them in the relationship.  

Words – Service – Gifts – Time – Touch

• Receiving Gifts 

Receiving gifts is pretty self-explanatory. Choosing a special item for the person we love can communicate love by letting them know that we know them, see them and care that they are happy. Selecting just the right gift can have a powerful impact on a relationship as it lets the other person know that you have taken an interest in their preferences and have gone out of your way to give them something you know that they would like.  

• Quality Time 

Spending time with someone and spending quality time with someone are two different things. Quality time is where we intentionally take care to ensure that the time we spend with another communicates that we love them. Shared experiences forge strong bonds in our minds and emotions and let us know that we are secure in our relationship with that person. Giving up your time to be present with someone can be an immensely powerful way of letting them know that you care. 

• Physical Touch 

Physical touch can go a long way in communicating love to another, especially when another is in distress. A comforting hug or a held hand can let us know that we are not alone and that someone cares deeply for us.  

As we shine a spotlight on love as a doing word in February’s REACH magazine, let us commit to expressing our love to those around us rather than keeping it to ourselves.  

For more information on The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts®, please visit www.5lovelanguages.com.If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 

(1 Corinthians 13:1-8 NLT) 

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